‘’There was once a time where I could have taken you back without thinking twice. Of course I would have played a ‘’little hard to get’’ once again, knowing deep down inside my heart that I couldn’t wait for the next time you whispered that four letter word into my ear. I wanted you to know how much you hurt me but at the same time I wanted to show you love.
I kept replaying our moments in my mind. I can’t say I didn’t blame myself at one point for us coming to an end but at the same time I couldn’t understand why you just gave up on us (I mean) on me so easily without thinking twice. While I was healing, hurting and lusting for answers you had moved on within a blink of an eye. Seasons went by and I finally decided to open up to ‘’another’’. I had forgotten about you (so I thought), and he became my new interest. I told myself that this time around I wasn’t looking for commitment, no love, but all I wanted was a good time even if it wasn’t going to last for a life time. We smiled, we laughed, we shared our stories then we parted ways. It was good but not good enough for me to finally feel again.
I remembered the thought that I implanted in my mind over the months that you were meant to be the one for me (I really thought you were). Maybe all that waiting killed our right moment. It’s true what they say that ‘’Somehow lovers become strangers again’’. I guess that’s our happily ever after.
I never doubted your love, no wait… your feelings for me. I still don’t; I know you had your reasons. I guess the only reason I waited for so long was because I didn’t hear those reasons from you; which became the hardest part of it all being left with unanswered questions which ended up becoming my conclusion to our story. I no longer wanted you like I used to. That soft touch I once felt became a distant memory and those sweet words you once whispered to me they too began to fade away. Everything that once shined in our world became a cold winters night which later turned into spring and summer. I began to wish you the best in life (I still do) although this time around I loved you for what you were before we became one, I loved you for the dreams and goals you once shared with me, I loved you for the time you waited, I loved you for the beauty you saw in me and I loved you for the years I once knew you. I wasn’t perfect, you weren’t perfect and we weren’t perfect; at least that’s one thing that assures me that it was all REAL just not the ending I expected.
I know it’s only normal for most females to feel the way I did; the only difference is that they probably may have given that significant other a second chance, where in my case ‘your’ absence reassured me that there is potentially more waiting for me out there.
The seasons passing became more of a way of life for me, only this time I had you as a lesson in my previous chapter in life. My unsaid words finally play a role in my reality. “I was never rushed into letting go”. So hopefully if you still holding onto a significant other don’t feel rushed to let go, do it in your own time the right time for YOU and don’t forget to Live, Laugh and Love; no one can ever take that away from you or me. I am yet to fall for my ‘better half’ so they say. “
Our time is coming…
Miss.A
this is deep Ayanda... I feel as if these were the words that were gonna come out of my ex who turned into my girlfriend again and soon might be my ex again because things just feel different and i'm tired of acting as if the flame is still there but i don't wana hurt her, so holding onto the ashes that were once flames is the only way i know how not to hurt her, cause she's head over heels... and people keep telling me i'd be stupid to let it go, but they don't understand the new flame i feel for this other being who's not my current partner... i remember when i could come knock on your door step with a set of flowers in my hand and not have to worry about any feelings... growing up is a biaaatch on the real!
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